Funny “First Day of Christmas” Anxiety Holiday Card
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🎄 On the First Day of Christmas, My True Love Gave to Me... Anxiety
KEOLIX Christmas Card – Because ‘tis the season for spirals.
Forget golden rings and partridges in pear trees. If you’re anything like the rest of us unhinged holiday humans, your true love probably gifted you a full-blown cortisol cocktail before December even started.
This card is for the real ones.
For the girlies who’ve been emotionally held hostage by tangled fairy lights.
For the spreadsheet warriors organizing Secret Santa with coworkers they hate.
For the emotional support friends who are just one mulled wine away from sobbing into a cheese board.
🎁 The Vibe
The “On the First Day of Christmas... Anxiety” card is funny because it’s true. It’s cute, clever, and wildly relatable. Featuring a graphic of tangled Christmas lights and typography that screams “I’m trying but also losing it,” it’s a hilarious nod to the meltdown behind the mistletoe.
Use it to say:
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“Merry Christmas, I love you, I’m also spiraling.”
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“You're not alone in the madness.”
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“The spirit of Christmas is alive but she’s on edge.”
✨ Why This Card Slaps:
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Original KEOLIX Design: Printed in-house by our actual hands in the UK. We don’t outsource the chaos. We curate it.
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Premium Cardstock: Thick, matte, and beautiful — because you deserve quality even when you’re barely holding it together.
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Blank Inside: For when you want to write something heartfelt… or unhinged. No pressure.
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Three Sizes:
A6 for quick sass.
A5 for classic vibes.
A4 when you need space to rant.
Includes a kraft envelope, of course — eco and aesthetic.
👀 Who’s It For?
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That one friend who’s always two spreadsheet tabs away from a breakdown.
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Your sister who’s been stress-wrapping gifts since October.
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Your therapist, tbh.
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YOU, queen — send one to yourself as a reward for surviving another year of forced cheer and shopping mall PTSD.
🎉 Card Use Cases
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Drop it into a Secret Santa gift for a chaotic touch.
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Slide it under someone’s door as a “we’re in this hell together” solidarity move.
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Hand-deliver it with peppermint schnapps and no explanation.
🧠 Why It Works
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It’s honest: We’re not sugarcoating the season here.
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It’s hilarious: Because the best way to survive December is to laugh about it.
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It’s comforting: Humor is a love language. This card says “I see your pain, babe.”
💌 Want More Chaos?
Pair it with a KEOLIX mug or sticker for the ultimate “I’m not okay but I’m funny” holiday survival kit. From festive breakdowns to savage elf energy — we’ve got it all.
🚚 Shipping Info
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Processed in 1–3 business days
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UK delivery: 2–5 working days
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International: 7–14 working days
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Tracked shipping available
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Returns accepted for non-personalized items within 14 days
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Questions? Email hello@keolix.com
💀 Final Words from KEOLIX:
This isn’t your grandma’s holiday card. This is therapy, wrapped in paper. This is “I’m spiraling but make it aesthetic.” This is the Christmas card your nervous system actually wants.
So, if you’ve ever cried in a Tesco car park during December, this card’s for you.
Go ahead. Add to basket. Let them know Christmas can be magical and mildly traumatic. 🎄✨
💜 About KEOLIX
KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.
Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.
Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.
Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.
Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.
KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.
✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.
Shipping & Returns Information
We strive to process and ship all orders within 1-3 business days. Delivery times may vary depending on your location:
- UK: 2-5 business days
- International: 7-14 business days (please note that international orders may be subject to delays due to customs processing)
Tracking:
For orders with tracking, please utilize the tracking number provided in your shipping confirmation email to monitor the progress of your package.
Refund & Return Policy:
We prioritize customer satisfaction and aim to provide a seamless return and refund process. Please contact us if you encounter any issues or have questions.
Damaged or Incorrect Items:
If your item arrives damaged or you receive the incorrect item, kindly email us within 7 days of receipt with a photograph of the issue. We will promptly send a replacement or offer a refund.
Lost Packages:
For international shipping orders, we offer a replacement or refund within 30 days if the package is not received within the specified timeframe. For UK shipping orders, the deadline is 14 days. Please provide your order details and tracking number to initiate the return process.
Refunds:
Refunds can only be processed to the original payment method. In cases of delayed shipments, we will issue a refund once the item is returned to us.
Returns:
We accept returns on non-personalized items within 14 days of delivery. Please return the item in its original condition and packaging. The buyer is responsible for return shipping costs unless the item was damaged or incorrect.
Contact Us:
Do not hesitate to contact us if you have any inquiries or concerns. We are dedicated to providing exceptional customer service.
