Cook the Books Tote Bag – Recycled Cotton, Funny Pun Gift

Cook the Books Tote Bag
🔪📚 Because sometimes you're sautéing spreadsheets, and other times… well, you’re just carrying groceries and sins.

Let’s not pretend we’re all saints during tax season. Whether you’re an actual accountant or just someone who’s definitely not claiming that Etsy income, this bag was made for you. Featuring a hilarious cartoon book sizzling in a frying pan (yes, literally cooking the books), this tote is perfect for dodging audits and carrying all your creative write-offs. In fiction, of course. Obviously.

✨ What Makes This Tote So Taxing-ly Perfect?

• 🧾 Pun-Forward Design:
  The phrase “Cook the Books” paired with a literal illustration of a book frying in a pan? Iconic. This tote serves spicy satire for accountants, writers, pun-lovers, and culinary nerds. It says, “I pay my taxes... creatively.”

• 🌱 Sustainable Sass:
  Made from 100% recycled cotton, this bag lets you be cheeky and eco-conscious. Measuring 40 x 38 cm (15.7 x 15 inches) with a 130–135gsm fabric thickness, it’s tough enough for groceries, shady receipts, or student loan paperwork you’re pretending don’t exist.

• 👜 Everyday Use:
  Grocery runs, client meetings, tax appointments you may or may not ghost—this tote is ready to be your sidekick through all your morally gray errands. Works just as well for uni students, teachers, or authors pretending to write when they're really TikToking.

🎁 Who Needs This Bag (Hint: Probably You)?

• Tax advisors who appreciate a dark joke.

• Freelancers whose bookkeeping system is just vibes.

• Foodies with a love for puns.

• English teachers who drink too much coffee and know they’re the main character.

• Your mate who hasn’t filed a return since 2019 and says things like “HMRC is a scam, babe.”

This is a killer gift for birthdays, tax season meltdowns, office Secret Santas, or just for yourself—because self-care sometimes looks like passive-aggressively flaunting financial crimes in cute cartoon form.

😇 Let’s Be Honest…

You could get a plain tote with some flowers on it. Or a motivational quote. But you’re not basic. You’re unhinged and over it, and this tote? It gets you.

This is not just a bag. It’s an energy. It’s knowing you’ve got 87 tabs open, none of them are spreadsheets, and you’re still charging “admin time.”

✅ Why You’ll Love It:

• 100% Recycled Cotton – lightweight but tough

• Fun & Functional – fits a laptop, books, and a little guilt

• Unisex Design – for accountants, rebels, and everyone in between

• Gift-Ready – especially for that friend who refuses to use QuickBooks

• Conversation Starter – people will laugh. And probably ask if you’re hiring

🔥 Add it to cart. Write it off later. Just don’t let HMRC see your tote.

Need more matching products for your rebellious bookkeeping persona? Check out our full sticker + tote bundle deals and other dark-humored gifts at Keolix.

💜 About KEOLIX

KEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”
We’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.

Everything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add just enough chaos to your day.

Want to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our handmade cards — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.

Not sure what to get? Check out our bestsellers — the people know what’s good.

Need layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas here. Go get lost in it.

KEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.

✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like you.